PARKINSON'S AND ME
PARKINSON'S AND ME
Yes, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.
September 26 - My Parkinson’s.
It is strange, I think, that we would call an illness “my disease.” My Parkinson’s for example. It makes sense that I view “my” illness with a type of ownership. This is probably more true with Parkinson’s than it is with other serious ailments. Patients are told early on that their journey with Parkinson’s can be significantly different than the journey others with the same disease experience. I am sitting at the computer writing these thoughts at 4:13 AM on a Friday morning. The Parkinson’s woke me up. For me, this seems to happen a few times a month, or at least so far it has been limited to those few times. To others with the disease disturbed sleep is a significant issue. Parkinson’s can look different from person to person and symptoms can change dramatically over time. My Parkinson’s today looks very different that it did just 6 months ago.
I went to my neurologist last week for my regularly scheduled exam. I aked him about 5 symptoms that seem to be worsening at a more rapid pace than I have experienced in the past. Of the 5. the symptom causing the most trouble now is my gate. Short jerky steps, flat footed, freezing, difficulty turning. All typical symptoms, but ones I hadn’t experienced to a great degree. The other issues had to do with vision, depression, cognitive issues, and joint pain, The doctor added one more “new”medication to my regimen. With Parkinson’s it is a temporary fix. There is no stopping the progression, only slowing it down. I feel very fortunate that I haven’t fallen yet. Because I am on blood thinners, a fall could be disastrous.
Parkinson drugs are a blessing but they are a temporary fix. I will reach a point where the drugs will lose some of their effectiveness. They can also cause other, more problematic symptoms (like the jerkiness seen in some patients). In the future, DBS, deep brain stimulation, may also help, especially with mobility.
I think the symptoms that I fear the most are cognitive. Now I am having trouble doing fairly simple tasks like balancing the checkbook. I also seem to have lost some of my organizational skills. I fear the loss of my mental abilities. At this point my neurologist thinks it is more attributable to age than Parkinson’s. I hope that is true.
Hope, a big word for me. An important word. I know part of what lies ahead on this Walk through the Valley. There is much I do not know. It is my prayer that I can still be used in the journey. Not long ago, in a slightly heated exchange, someone called me useless. I pray that is not true. I pray that I can be used, even if in a simple way.
Lord speak to me, that I may speak. O lead me Lord, that I may lead. O strengthen me, that while I stand. O teach me Lord, that I may teach. O give thine own sweet rest to me. O fill me with thy fullness Lord. O use me Lord, use even me.
Yes, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.
September 26 - My Parkinson’s.
It is strange, I think, that we would call an illness “my disease.” My Parkinson’s for example. It makes sense that I view “my” illness with a type of ownership. This is probably more true with Parkinson’s than it is with other serious ailments. Patients are told early on that their journey with Parkinson’s can be significantly different than the journey others with the same disease experience. I am sitting at the computer writing these thoughts at 4:13 AM on a Friday morning. The Parkinson’s woke me up. For me, this seems to happen a few times a month, or at least so far it has been limited to those few times. To others with the disease disturbed sleep is a significant issue. Parkinson’s can look different from person to person and symptoms can change dramatically over time. My Parkinson’s today looks very different that it did just 6 months ago.
I went to my neurologist last week for my regularly scheduled exam. I aked him about 5 symptoms that seem to be worsening at a more rapid pace than I have experienced in the past. Of the 5. the symptom causing the most trouble now is my gate. Short jerky steps, flat footed, freezing, difficulty turning. All typical symptoms, but ones I hadn’t experienced to a great degree. The other issues had to do with vision, depression, cognitive issues, and joint pain, The doctor added one more “new”medication to my regimen. With Parkinson’s it is a temporary fix. There is no stopping the progression, only slowing it down. I feel very fortunate that I haven’t fallen yet. Because I am on blood thinners, a fall could be disastrous.
Parkinson drugs are a blessing but they are a temporary fix. I will reach a point where the drugs will lose some of their effectiveness. They can also cause other, more problematic symptoms (like the jerkiness seen in some patients). In the future, DBS, deep brain stimulation, may also help, especially with mobility.
I think the symptoms that I fear the most are cognitive. Now I am having trouble doing fairly simple tasks like balancing the checkbook. I also seem to have lost some of my organizational skills. I fear the loss of my mental abilities. At this point my neurologist thinks it is more attributable to age than Parkinson’s. I hope that is true.
Hope, a big word for me. An important word. I know part of what lies ahead on this Walk through the Valley. There is much I do not know. It is my prayer that I can still be used in the journey. Not long ago, in a slightly heated exchange, someone called me useless. I pray that is not true. I pray that I can be used, even if in a simple way.
Lord speak to me, that I may speak. O lead me Lord, that I may lead. O strengthen me, that while I stand. O teach me Lord, that I may teach. O give thine own sweet rest to me. O fill me with thy fullness Lord. O use me Lord, use even me.
Comments
Post a Comment